Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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