i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Come share oat with me in your robe
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
