God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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