somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I don't think brook has ever known best
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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