Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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