I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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