I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
