yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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