Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
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I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
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So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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