he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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