It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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