I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
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