Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I will be naked everywhere
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
