So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
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