You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
I haven't been this sober since birth.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize
