go do what you do best...puke behind churches
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
