It's like God shit irony all over that family
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I need a burrito and a hug.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
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