god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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