My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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