Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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