If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
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