Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Randomize
