I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
We had sex on a dog bed..
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Randomize
