I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
