It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
i dont even know how to be here
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
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