yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
