cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
