were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This baby is an asshole
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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