I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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