Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
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