You can't motorboat a personality
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
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