Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
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