guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
