My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
