I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
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