so explain again why im purple
no
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
