I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
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