If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize