I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
