STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
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Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
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