the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
You are a genius and a whore.
Randomize
