I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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