how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Randomize
