All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
It's just like the Real World with babies
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
There are leaves in my underwear?
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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