its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
