Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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