the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
