ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
21 People Reveal The Most Embarrassing Secrets They Know About Someone
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.