so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
We were destined to go to rehab together
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.