ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Randomize
