question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
