saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize