Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize