i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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