Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
These 21 Drunks Said The Darndest Things
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
These 25 Irresponsible People Blew All Their Cash On Drugs, Booze, & Sex
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.