Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
These 19 Men’s Fashion Mistakes are Unforgivable, According to Women
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
25 Cringeworthy Below the Pants Injuries
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.