first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that