Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice