so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Randomize