I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I want to make a zoo with you.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
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