i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
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