if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Another day, another engagement, another cat
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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