The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
