I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
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