Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize