my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Randomize
