I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize