i wish my penis had a tongue
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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