I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
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