not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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