I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Randomize
