How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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