I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
