4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
oh god the rape fog is back!
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize
