new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
