I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
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