I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Randomize
