Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize